We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
