Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
