We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
