The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
