She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
