yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The ass gains better be worth it
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