i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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