He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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