just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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