and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
