Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
