Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
