I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
