something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
