hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
