very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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