she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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