He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
