help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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