yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
