i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
