you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
