Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
