well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
