STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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