I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
