So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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