so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
