yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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