we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
