idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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