shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
