And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
