Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
