She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
