I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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