There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
