He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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