I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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