On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
