I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
