I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
