He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
