Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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