Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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