all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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