So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
