allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
