As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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