3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
