You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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