U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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