Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
